WHO AM I??

Someone called me narcissistic, someone called me whimsical, someone called me Sweet. According to my parents I am quite, introvert, ignorant and gentle. According to my best friend I am a free bird, independent, creative and someone who don’t give a shit about what people think. According to my colleagues I am hardworking, efficient and seductive…(hahaha). According to my ex- bf I am selfish who never care about other people’s happiness (coz I left him). Wow!! What a diversity of opinion about one particular subject. Regarding narcissistic- I love taking my own pictures, love taking care of my health, my looks and who doesn’t. I don’t think that make someone narcissistic so I am discarding this particular word from my description. Next whimsical- whenever I watched a good movie I am so motivated by it that I feel like doing the same thing the actor did or when I read any good article about an interesting topic I started getting obsessed with the same thing for quite some time. Apart from that I love doing so many things like singing, dancing, painting, reading, photography, writing, jogging, gymming, walking, etc etc…I think the better word that suit me is Jack of all trade rather than whimsical..:). My parents think I am vulnerable and I think they are just protective, when will parents realize that their kids are able to decide what is right and what is wrong. My best friend stayed with me in Delhi for 7 years and since I was living far away from home, I was highly independent and lived my life without looking back or worrying about what people will think about me. Now about my colleagues, I am the only female working in the same post in my department. The rest are male who are atleast 2-5 years older than me. Its hard for me to enjoy or do other things if I have some pending work so I prefer completing my job and then partying. Thank god they perceive me as efficient and not competitive,,,regarding seductive. I am not so tall nor have zero size, I never flirt so I am confuse with this comment…hehe. Ex boyfriend is ex boyfriend now why should I care about him after everything is over. I don’t have the habit of dragging a situation. Once over is over and I think even he should do the same. Anyway, this is me,,,seen through other people’s eyes. And if I ask myself who am I? just one word. I am simple.

My chicken Recipe

I always wanted to be a great cook. I love cooking and my level of happiness rise double when people appreciate my cooking…J Now, today I am going to share you a chicken recipe which I haven’t given any name yet, my friends use to call it Chicken Hungarian but it is quite different from the real Hungarian Chicken. This recipe will be very helpful for people who want to gain weight….:) The taste is unique, much different from the spicy Manipuri chicken recipe.

Best serve with rice, steamed Asparagus or steamed mustard.

Ingredients:-

1. 1 kg Chicken.

2. 100 gm Butter (you can add more if you like).

3. 2 piece of Green Capsicum (Shimla Mirch)

4. 4 piece of Onion.

5. 1 teaspoonful of red chilli powder for colour.

Directions:-

1. Put around 70 grams of the butter in a frying pan (Karhai/Khang)

2. Heat the butter for 1-2 minute, avoid burning it.

3. Add Jeera and chopped onions, cook it for 4-5 minutes till the onions are partially cooked.

4. Add the chopped capsicum and chicken, cook it for 10 minutes. Avoid stirring continuously (have some patience J)

5. Add the remaining butter, salt and the red chilli powder.

6. Cook it for another 20 minutes till the chicken is fully cook.

7. Now sprinkle some chopped coriander leaves and enjoy the chicken with rice or bread or smashed potatos

8. Don’t forget to give feedback

9. Take care and Keep smiling.

Why???

Why can’t people see the beauty inside a man’s heart? Why do people always go for outward appearance, how much bucks the person make or how powerful his family is?

He was perfect from outside and everyone admired him, liked him. He was too sweet, funny, rich, powerful, talented, witty, ravishing. In short, he was the kind of guy every girl asked for and prayed for. But in his heart he was a devil with an intention to savour any possible woman he come across. I trusted him and admired him like others but when I came to know the truth I dumped him even though I was left broken hearted. Now, I want to move on and I want to live a peaceful life free from all the agonies, heartache. I don’t want to make the same mistake again or worry what people will think, I just want to make the right decision.

But Why?? Why do they don’t understand? Why are they trying to drag me into the same earlier situation again? I have learned my lesson and now my eyes are wide open but why aren’t theirs. Why are they still blind with materials and money and power? I don’t want to agree with them, I don’t want to agree with anyone…. I Just want to do what I think is right. Fame is not what I want, money is not what I want, power is not what I want. I just want a truthful lover, a beautiful heart, a hand I can hold when I am scared, a shoulder I can lean on and cry when I am sad, a face which will make me forget all my problems and a heart I can proudly say it is mine….:(

My Confession

I should have written this note a long time ago but I felt so reluctant in jotting down what the truth is and what really happened that I hardly notice how deeply my soul or my conscience or my subconscious is hurt as days goes on. In the last so many years, it seem less important to me and my life. But today this idea stuck me since the morning and I have been thinking about it all the time, I even hit a rickshaw on my way to Office but still I can’ t get rid of this feeling. I can’t even confess to him because he is gone and he is never coming back. He is dead and is dead for the last 4 years. And I am left with no place to find solace. My heart seems to be bleeding and soul is shattered beyond repair. Wish I had one chance to say sorry, I know he don’t hate me but I know what I did was wrong and I wanted to let him know I can do anything to change the past and fix my fault. For now, I think the best think I can do both to myself and to him is to let people know the truth.

When I joined my school about 21 years back, he was the only guardian I had in the school. I was about 5 and half years old and he was about 8 years. He himself was suffering from this dilemma of his single parent family, adolescent stage and his school life but even then he treated me like his own sister, came to my class during recess with his friends, ask me is everything fine, helping me with many other things. I was proud that I have someone who cares for me in that new place which was full of strangers. We are not actually very close relatives. He is my mom’s elder sister’s husband’s cousin brother’s son. His father died when he was a baby and his mom in trying to run her family and bring up her children did lots of odd jobs and was sometime wrongly interpreted by many people in her neighbourhood. After 1 year, I was quite comfortable in my class and with my friends that I find him not so important in my life anymore. One day my mom was furious with his mom because of some elderly issue and I find it inappropriate to mention the issue in this blog. Anyway, when I came to know my mom was angry even I felt bad. I was just 6 years old and I didn’t know what was good and what was bad but I wanted to protect my mom and help my mom so I thought I should blame him for something, as a revenge for what his mom did. I told my mom, sorry let me correct it, I lied to my mom that he comes to my class often and drink all the waters from my bottle and eat my Tiffin, I also told her that sometimes he abuse me and her(my mom). When my mom came to know she was so angry that she call up my dad immediately and they had a long discussion with my mom’s elder sister. Finally my dad wrote a letter to the principal of our school. The next day, the principal call us to his room and we were asked in detailed about the letter. When we were standing in the Principal’s room he looked at me with a deeply hurt eyes which I can’t forget till now and asked me, “why did u lie? I didn’t do any of these”. I kept quite but I never had the courage to say the truth. I think he was punished but I never cared to check out. From that day we were like this unforgiveable enemy. We never talked and we always ignored when we see each other for the next 10 years. He never existed in my life anymore. But, when I completed my schooling, I had to go to delhi for my Graduation and my dad accompanied me for the admission. At that time, Things were fine between our families too. So, we met again in Delhi, he took me to the colleges for admission, gave us a big room till I get my own flat. I felt really ashamed of myself and I wanted to tell him I am sorry for what I did but I never got a chance. He was different now, he seems to care too less about life or career and he was like a free bird. I was worried about him because sometime he forgets lots of things like when he is going to pick me up or what I asked him to buy. I got admission and I shifted to a girl’s PG. He helped me in shifting, getting admission and visited me often to see if I was Ok. One day he told me he is going to another state for some work, 5 days after that I learnt from home that he died because of overdose. He was singing and playing guitar one night with his friends when he suddenly fell down and died at that spot. I cried for the whole day, skipped college too. His friends came to see me and console me. They asked me to come for his shraddha at their flat but I never went and I don’t know why. Wish I had one chance to tell you bro that I am sorry deep from my heart and I wish you can tell me it’s ok sister, I forgive you…..:(

Love in the time of Social Network.

Gone are the days when Dating proposals were sent through 2-3 pages long letters. The guys use to follow the girls at almost every place she was suppose to visit, then he use to finally took up the courage to go up to her and tell her what he feels about him. The girls were always shy and always use to reject the proposals in the beginning even if she like the guy more than anyone else, because easy acceptance was treated as not that valuable (Kinda Funny). The guys never give up and still keep on pursuing her even upto the level of imposing and stalking her everywhere. Then finally she said yes and hence the love story begins....They meet once in 1 month, get married after 5-6 years and finally settle down to have a loyal, very committed married life wherein they treat each other as their better half.
Things are too different these days, for the last 10-20 years, kids are exposed to so much violence, vulgar activities, MTV, Channel V, Video games, almost nude female models that its side-affects are easily visible in today's youth. Love is a word that brings humorous smile to some of the youths, for others love is just a means to bring an end to their sexual urge!! The changing mentality is again highly supported by the introduction of social networks like facebook, orkut, twitter, blah, blah. Finding love is in fact a matter of opening one social network account and adding few hot girls/guys. In each of these accounts, the users are given full freedom to upload any pictures that he/ she want to that can help her/him attract as many opposite sex as they want, apart from that they are also given full privacy to not only enable them for textual chat but also Video chat/ voice chat...God Knows what might be happening. In the whole process we tend to forget what is the real meaning of love and polygamy is getting widely accepted by our society.
Now, the most heartbreaking thing is not only single gals and boys but also married individuals are an equal part of such crime (For me it is a crime). Married man have extra marital affairs as it is much easier for them to find someone through internet and they can easily lie about their married status too. The readers might think I am some kind of Orthodox, old-fashioned person but the fact is the person whom you love might be doing the same, even if he/she dont...dont tell me you dont suspect it!! The changing trends has brought a wind of unstable relationshipsssss whose after effect can be disastrous than any other man made explosives!!

Valentine's Day 2011

Irrevocable is my love and obnoxious are your words.
My mind is brighter than the shining stars but, my heart is dumber than the dumbest guy.
Shall I make the logical decision or shall I pretend to be naive and ignorant.
If I hadn't love you, you would have be lying somewhere in a cheap little room, deeply hurt by my words and your face all blushed by my slap.
This was what I was thinking when I was getting ready to meet my date. But then I saw some great writers line " Love is blind". let it be then. My love is blind and I will also pretend to be blind. My words and this article is result of my continuous exposure to Beyonce's "Broken Hearted Girl".
God...I sound sick.

Wild Thoughts

They say Humans are never satisfied with what they achieve in life. They want more and more. Its like that Needs Theory of Mclellands wherein after achieving each Need Level you develop urge for another need. Why am I talking about this is because these days I am feeling the same. I am never satisfied with what I have and I want more and more. I dont know whether this is greediness or normal human quality but this is causing frustration and dissatisfaction. Now, this new disease that I have caught is scaring the hell out of me. But the most beautiful thing about it is I know it is wrong and I realize I am one of the culprit. We can use this urge for betterment of our society and ourself or we can use it to destroy every means of happinress in our life!...the decision we have to make!