Mama

As a child I was not much of the cheerful kind. When I was not in school or tuition you would find me in my room near the window table. The windows wide opened, I will be there staring into the sky or the hills, making up stories, one after another.  She knew I was different but she never told me so.  I hardly study and I hardly ask for toys but she was always there by my side waiting for me to be ready so that she can teach me how to fly. I don’t know how long she has waited but at a point of time she was frustrated and I knew she was angry coz she was never the same like before. I wanted to see her happy so I stepped out from my room one fine day only to return defeated and bullied by the other kids. After some years I began to socialize but in my own way and I could see she was hurt for a reason I never tried to find out. As I grew up I realized we were so different and sometimes I wondered how could we share the same blood. I cried, I cursed, I argue without knowing why I was so rebellious, maybe that was a part of growing up. One day I left her for a place so far away and when I looked out from the Car window, I saw her eyes full of tears standing by the gate, I knew she was trying to say ‘I love you’ and I felt bile rising up my stomach and finally tears rolling out from my eyes. I reached the city full of strangers; lived in a house full of girls and shared a room with one girl. At night when the light was off, the only word that came out from my mouth was ‘mama’. I had nightmares and when I woke up from each nightmare I missed her more and more. I fell sick, I was robbed and with each tragedy I experienced, her memories became stronger than ever. She always had a solution for everything and foolishly I took it for granted when she was there with me all the time.

One day I realized what I had to do, I just had to be like the way she want me to be so that I could feel her with every steps I make. Since that day, every decision I made was after considering what she will say, what she will think. And believe me, it worked. I scored good marks, I found my best friend and many other new friends. I called her every evening and took suggestions from her.  Now, I am back and once again she is by my side but this time I have open my arms before she could think how I feel and I will never let her go.

‘Mama, I am sorry for giving you such a hard time in the past, without your support it’s impossible to become what I am. I love you more than anything or anyone else and please be my Mama for the many more rebirths I will take’